In thirty years of Living on the Smiling Islands of the Florida Keys he watched a lot of peoples lives go town the toilet... due to Cocaine and Alcohol ... Crack was especially vicious, and later the sanctioned deception of Oxy Contin.... and its bad news.
Pot was nothing...hell he never even saw anybody get in a accident or hurt... drawing pot into their lungs... he must of been one of the lucky ones.. non of that shit meant a hill of beans to him or a (bill of heans)... he could take it or leave it and he did both... once in a while or when it was free.... though for a while there he did a bit more then his fair share of drinking Gin and Rum...anything but Bacardi , once you have indulged in the Real Rum From Cuba.... Havana Club 7 year old... you will come to understand what garbage Bacardi is.. well according to my Palate .. even that shit made up in Lake Alfred...is better, depending on the mood.... the gin almost was kind of a summer time spritzer... a good slug of Gin and some club soda or Seltzer and a twist of Key Lime on Ice of course... served in a Jumbo Plastic cup... Now that was a summertime drink.. he would polish off a 1.75 liter easy in a week though one time him and his buddy did a 1.75 in an afternoon and wound up getting towed in by the coast guard..and winding up on the following days morning news on the radio opening the news as 'TWO BIG PINE MEN were rescued ' etc ... only because they ran aground..... the word drinking was never mentioned.. burp... we shot off flares and everything... we thought it was the 4th of July. Cranberry juice and vodka worked nicely also from time to time... plus he enjoyed driving the boat at night while intoxicated...on the moon and stars, with a rum bottle in one hand a spotlight in the other and steering with his knee on the wheel... especially navigating old Smugglers Cut as it was called.. he got real good at it... especially at low tide... not even the man would go through there... let alone at night.. more then once they turned around and gave up pursuit poor po po, they were at least smart enough to know the risks of ripping their lower units off on the hard rock bottom unless you know exactly where you were going.. and many people have spent the night broken down with a disabled boat in that area waiting for help to come the next day, while swatting Mosquito's and wishing they had brought more snacks and beer and insect repellent .... He would Just Laugh... at the whole thing... The Old Lady and the Kids in the boat with him.. breeze blowing cool under the stars holding on for dear life yet with no panic, Ya that was his idea of fun alright, non the worse for wear... he still feels guilty for throwing the children's coloring books over board because they were arguing over them.... oh well nobody is perfect,
I am sorry girls... I would not do it again nor letting your birthday balloons go on purpose out the car window.... what a mean father but up up they went... I guess the best part was wondering where they would land.
Ahhhhh they were all good kids and having fun, although they probably did not realize it at the time, getting to go out to Cooks Island and climb in the trees and fall out busting their lips and stuff... and catching Hermit Crabs.. that had numbers painted on their shells looking for Pirate treasure ... and then having a bar b q.. on the beach or a big Pot of Spaghetti and falling asleep with the sound of the ocean and its breezes coming through the screens into the windows that lulled them to sleep... with spaghetti sauce stains around their lips....they were adorable wanting and getting.
Ya I guess it is kind of hard to recall that kind of stuff... from when your little...
There was a love by day in Jesus class.... in his neighbor as well...... one day the Lady next door was screaming at her son... obscenities ..... later she told him about Jesus.... He always liked her a little but thought that was kind of weird and he never cared much for the idea of her 5 pit bulls.
Then their was the other neighbor lady that wanted to smoke pot with him and offered to give him a blow job through the chain link fence.. while her husband was at work... perhaps he should not have declined in retrospect. But he had that thing about other men's women.. maybe it was from bible school.
Too late now anyway.... maybe Mr. Limpy would take a second look all these years later, and wake up more often... thank who ever for Viagra, and talking nice to him he likes that and will rise and make a tent of the sheet still from time to time, you may have to duck to get in.
Now he is the President of the John Q Smith Fan Club... as he roars at his own jokes, fine by him and remembers.. all the close calls... and near misses... Lucky he had no predisposition to addictions, nor dependent on not much except beach combing, why he would likely be dead.
and he laughs his ass off at being the President of
The Predisposition Club.
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