H

                                                                       H

H had not crossed his mind in years............ He thought back and all he could see was H standing by the Pay Phone at the East Entrance of the Winn Dixie on Big Pine Key, where one of   H's business cards was glued to the phone...as they were around all the pay phones on Big Pine Key,  H always wore a trench coat...even on the Hottest of days... he was a gangly man... tall thin long hair with an extreme  receding  hairline.... A bit of a Lurch perhaps?

H drove taxi around he had a business card it was a  simple white card with the capitol letter H embossed on it and his phone number.............. He owned  two pirate taxi's ... actually he lived in  them  24 sticky ball  hours a day... He kept things simple.... from time to time he would get arrested  for what he could not say, but soon enough he was back out on the street.... H, How do you spell that he wondered?  Aitch , Haitch,  H?

One Taxi was a  little white sedan...he used some , and other times when it would run, he would break out the Green Cadillac Limo.......... something was  mumbled  about it having been  used by the Heavy Metal band  Iron Maiden  once upon a grander   time...
it was one weird car.... H catered to the bar room strippers in Key West.... he would offer free Service , well advertise free service.... a Free of Sorts.........

It was a strange ride... the thing actually had 6 wheels and tires.... two of them were those doughnut tires that are used for spares some call them (Idiot tires ) .... and the other four were pretty bald except for one, he was always having to add air,
 to  the slow leakers you know?  The good life.

The whole back end of the thing had been plowed in  once when he was passed out on qualudes at the green light , at the only intersection on Big Pine Key Florida with a light  ....  it was a mess, he had to take some trailer lights and rig them up on the back end so he had tail lights , brake lights and turn signals, then of course he had the Two vicious dogs that rode along with him just behind the first partition  with the electric glass divider window that  was jimmied and did not work, it was stuck a few inches in the down position with visible dried dog drool and paw prints.... However he kept the far back  inside of the limo behind the second partition  nice and clean all armorall'ed clean ... shiny and vacuumed and the windows spotless  in just that area.. ..........the a/c blew semi cold.... colder then it was hot out, smelled pretty  good to ...he even had a couple of  dented  overused champagne holders in the back with salted ice at times  for icy  cold sweating green bottles of bubbly ......... that would go pop! and a Carton of pulp free Florida O.J. in the other... and some stolen Dixie cups.........in the service....

H kept a bottle of pharmaceutical  pain killers in the glove box, mainly for the pole dancer girls so if one of them was not feeling so good or had a headache... especially before going to work down in Key West... he would hand them out like candy and get them to feeling better,  there there, one  might ride down to Key West with her head in his lap sucking her thumb, one of many rough childhoods in the Keys.....and take a nap giving the capsules time to kick in, they shared some of their tips with old H on the return ride home around 4 in the morning all coked up ...    for that Free Service.

The Limo was named Eloise.  The one dog was a white Husky... snapping mean...He could not  seem to remember the other one's name, he was more of the kind of dog  that lurks with eyes rolled up the one could see the whites at the bottom of his eyes,  that  cowardly look,  he  would walk in tight circles a lot... trying to sniff is own butt, on occasion he was know to bite.

Shit, and here  He had almost forgotten about H.................though  he could see him clear as day standing there at that Pay phone by the East Entrance of Winn Dixie in that smelly old  trench coat... his balding forehead and the clever business card with just the letter H embossed on it and his phone number... He  wondered  if it was the phone number of the pay phone...come to think of it?

He heard H. died, maybe of a drug overdose?.... never saw any obituary... but that was standard for the homeless and downtrodden.... In the  Smiling Islands of the fabulous Florida Keys.

He Never knew the Man really well, but he did exist.................  anybody else out there remember old  H?

Or accept a Ride?              H.

Waiting For The Green Flash.

The Old Man that used to live in Key West and was friends with Captain Tony back in the early 60's  and swapped  babysitting  services  with him and miles of bull shit yarns .....was at the Sea Side do drop in last evening.  The Sun was setting just touching the Horizon... I was waiting for the Green Flash... it never came.

I guess I failed to mention in my earlier post,  the old man appears to have had a stroke.. he is weak on one side of his body... he has lived down here 15 years... with his wife... he called me by name and grabbed my hand with his good arm and hand  as I strode in the establishment .. with a lot of strength....

Maybe characters live everywhere and I just have the natural ability to find  and befriend them... my gift.....


He took a shot later in the evening at the waiter...a jab that almost connected  with the right corner of the waiters chin.... the waiter  made a quick withdrawal or jump back .... of course it was all in drunk fun...  but, the old man would have gotten the much younger robust  Tico waiter pretty good had he not snapped back in the nick of time...

They all had a good laugh.....   I guess it was like  a Hemingway with Shine  Forbes  sparring re-enactment moment....  I got to meet Shine... once... he had a shrine in his living room in Key West of sorts... Shine offered  me and my buddy Ray Geist a  12 pack of hot beer ... that was in the back of his station wagon we pilfered some of them.

So anyway.................

The Waiter came over to the table where we were sitting and explained how the week earlier the Old Man was pretty drunk ... last time he was there .. and had actually managed to  connect a jab with  the waiter.. with his good paw.... thus his present awareness.... of the infirm.

So now  Jos  - hua    the waiter knows to keep distance  clear of the old man...or stand close at his own risk.

Now the waiter  appears to do a bit of taunting .... provoked firstly by the old mans bellowing mouth..." come on show me,  is that all you have got you ninny"

We have had a lovely 6 month stay here at this house.... the only really big draw back was the home invasion robbery.... and sleeping since with one eye open, I do not sleep well anyway.

Thus:   we have decided to move into a compound with three  armed security guards.. at the pearly  gates..
Invitation only.... I guess.

I went to the upper guard shack to make an inquiry about setting the Remote gate opener...  the guard was on the floor sleeping  sleeping like a dog on its back with all 4 paws  up on a mat... listening to the radio,,,, suffice it to say my confidence  is  instilled and shall remain.

I awoke him ......  I was thinking perhaps I should start bringing him beer.... and maybe snacks.

The only Analogy I can come to in the moment is this......  living in  Costa Rica is either 10 times better or 10 times worse then living in Key West and the Florida Keys....   sort of like the glass being half empty or half full thing.... Sort Of.

Where else can you find such amusement ?   Oh and the Views......... Simply put Fantastic!

What a card.        The Old Man.   WAITING FOR THE GREEN FLASH!

Having written a book... on living in Big Pine Key Florida and the Florida Keys.. and Key West

I lived in the Florida Keys for over 30 years... I met and befriended to a degree a considerable number of  characters?

You see I have been working on this book for some years actually... its sort of a toss up between a book and a Screen Play in ones head... mine...

So I am wanting to see if any of the creepy crawlers pick up on my Key Words in this blog...  words like The Florida Keys and Key West... and Homelessness  Big Pine Key  etc...

I am conflicted as to if I should sell the book or give it away...  it has photos even.. and has been nicely edited and proof read my my dear sister... M.J.

I am sure it is still in some rough form say for the upcoming movie debut...  and its so short its only like 50 pages... I am still stumped I could live for over 30 years in the Fabulous Florida Keys those smiling Islands and cough up only 50 pages... but I console myself in the knowing I can write future volumes....

So bla bla bla you see..

The Florida Keys are unique in that they shook the upper 48 you see and anything that was loose fell down to the Keys....

Its a very NON cultural place in my opinion with a shrouded in mystery sort of history.. loads of unsolved crimes etc...

And some real true spirits roam  those Islands of Los Martyrs.......  so here is my indecent proposal.. if your reading this... quit frankly I doubt it.... but as a test... like for an S.T.D.  if you have gotten this far.. and find any curiosity of what it was really like living in the 80's to 2013 in the Keys... drop me a note and I will send you a free.. copy.. in return for some feed back.

my address is  www.americanworkmule@gmail.com   I will look in my spam file for you...
I trust free is not to much to ask is it?

You understand my wanting to get a pulse on this.. I am sure.

Thank you John Gerace  A.K.A.  John Q Smith....