He had always fancied himself a very good driver... not just safe but good, skilled... and now suddenly there he was car screaming in traffic...many years later doing donuts. and all sorts of various skilled driving .... nearly missing other cars and objects , it was a wild ride... went on and on... it finally dawned on him to just reach over and turn the cars switch off... ironic ... they were doing donuts in the grass in front of the house where they were going it being their destination.... he looked over at his X wife sitting next to him... she was so excited he said you should give me a blow job.... she started to cry....her mascara started to run... Oh come on! he says to her... don't take it so personally ..... its just a blow job for Christs sake, Don't you remember flying in the Grumman Tiger with the sliding canopy.... you did not mind then breeze and all... scarf out the in the slipstream.
She was taking him to a surprise party his ... now she was crying... oh great..... He thought... he felt like a rat, that was her specialty ............
as they entered everybody in the house he sort of knew... it was very uncomfortable...for him... the occupants in the house cheered a sort of a dull SURPRISE!........... rang out... marvelous... he thought...where is the booze?
and then everybody began talking among themselves.... he was walking around trying to see if he could recognize anybody really, where was that old bitch the mother of his X wife he thought? she was the one I should have married... he did love her actually , strangely , perhaps someday in another dimension he would bang the shit out of her..... oh look over there was one guy he kind of liked... he remembered , but now he was in a wheel chair huh... and he had sort of scabby scale skin..especially on his balding head along his receding hairline like he had on his own knees just a little bit of.... this guy had it all over .... he moved forward in his wheel chair and and you could see where the chair had been sitting... by the outline of dead skin and green ooze on the low nap carpet.... he knelt down to shake the mans hand and put his knee right into the carpet where the dead skin and ooze were... he shuddered at the thought that maybe it was contagious, and he had put his little scabby dime sized spot on his own knee right down in it....
He had kissed a good friend earlier right on the lips... all wet.. Yuk , for some reason he thought it was his friends wife.... and then realized it was all hairy around the lips.... he was grossed out.. but what could he do? it was too late now.... he had already done it, he said sorry I thought you were your wife, sort of mildly spitting.
The old lady was there ... too.... the one from down the street with the 70 cats many of them had conjunctivitis , She had a leak in one of her water pipes once... and he got his friend the one he had just kissed on the hairy lips to fix it .... it turned into a big ordeal.... just a simple break.... but complicated to fix.....what a nice referral he guessed in the end he had really done him no favor.
It felt good to him to realize he still had those driving skills... even though he had not used them in so long....doing those donuts in the grass.. out in the very front yard of this the house they were throwing a Surprise party for him....
But darn if only for that blow job now.... his reward. Oh Well, she did not want to she did not want to his familiar mantra, oh well he took solace their were other girls that would with relish even.
He did not have much interest in his own Surprise Party....nor they for his... The Surprise Party.
Burp! I answer myself. I read that makes me a genius.
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